Blood and Cupcakes Read online

  Would you like to change your image?

  Y/N?

  Looking at herself she admired her appearance and swiped yes.

  Need to update this look a bit. A character creation palette appeared on a side mirror and she dove in. She found she could only change the base colors of the dress. She changed all the pink to black except the accent patches and darkened the purple. That done, she nixed the tiara and toggled the hairstyle to RL (real life) making it her braided mohawk. Finally, she made her slippers black.

  Not bad, if I do say so myself.

  She stepped away from the mirror and selected the “Finished Dressing” button that popped up. The mirror disappeared from view and a section of wall began to move outward. She jumped into a fighting stance.

  Some games like to start you off right in the thick of the mix and she had no idea what to expect. Instead of blood and battle, however, a man dressed as the Majordomo from the castle on Pie Mountain came in.

  He eyed her demeanor and looked a little dissatisfied. The look quickly retreated into obscurity. Bowing he said, “Good evening, Empress, I pray your travel arrangements weren’t too disorienting.”

  He stood about six feet tall, chin held high, wearing a deep maroon, single breasted doublet with tails. It sported a large trim of black with gold piping and embroidery that whirled around the coat edges in a dizzying design. His grey hair, in the style of a powdered wig, was fastidiously quaffed. His nose was slightly hooked, making him look a bit avian.

  “My name is Chano, your Grace. I am your Pie Mountain / Majesta liaison. I am here to be your guide in the ways of Majesta. Are you ready to begin?”

  “Where is this?” Mayah queried.

  “That brings us directly to the first of many matters, your Grace. May I begin? Time is short.”

  “Of course,” she said feeling slightly chastised. Chano was as direct as an arrow, wasting neither movement nor words. He was just as she had imagined the characters from Pie Mountain would be. This character was flawless. So flawless, that she wondered whether he was an admin or an NPC (Non-Player Character). The realism of Majesta was a bit disorienting. She could hear small fans circulating air into and out of the room. She felt the light movement of air moving towards the open door and smelled a tinge of ozone in the room.

  So flarfin’ real...

  “First,” he said as he noticed her attention return to him, “this room is the only safe space for you in Majesta. I'm afraid once you leave this room you can never return. Instead, your respawn point will be in the center of the training village. Outside these doors anything or anyone can attack you. Please travel with the utmost of care. These are perilous times, Empress, but we need you to bring happiness to these people for it is in short supply.”

  She nodded knowingly. C’mon finish up the speech so I can get that sweet, sweet XP.

  “Now let us proceed with the interface training. You can call and recall the interface just by thinking about. Do try.”

  She willed the interface into existence then canceled it out. She repeated the process a few times to get used to it then left it up.

  No vocal commands needed this is ...spectacular. “Okay got it.”

  “Now let us discuss the items on your interface. In the top right of you screen you will find the representative bars of your health and mana. Your HP or health point bar is green and will turn yellow and then red when near depletion. Your mana or magic bar is blue and… “

  “What’s this white bar underneath?” she interrupted, not needing him to explain how the bars worked.

  “That is your stamina bar,” he said a bit snippily. “Most people don’t pay enough attention to it when they first enter Majesta, a terrible mistake that leaves many stunned when it empties. If you begin to feel dizzy or get a headache, please check your stamina level. If it is low, that means you should rest as soon as possible. If that doesn’t work, it may be a poison or a damage over time (DOT) attack. You'll get notifications about those sorts of things.

  “Now let’s move on to your attack and defense modes. Every player is allowed one weapon and two tools when they arrive. You, Empress, have only one weapon to choose from upon entering the world. Which brings us to Happiness.”

  Happiness, what is he talking about?

  Her hammer from Pretty Princess Pie Party appeared in his hands. It was about four-and-a-half feet tall, almost as tall as she was. The head was a cylindrical piece of wood a foot in diameter and a foot-and-a-half long from face to face. The handle was cartoonishly large and it seemed that she might not be able to hold it with her tiny hands. The handle extended through the head and had a small, silver princess’s crown on top affixing the two together. The well-worn wood looked extremely realistic as she could see the grain and some indentations from where it had made multiple impacts.

  He passed it to her gently. “Be careful,” he urged.

  As she took it, she gasped. It took almost all of her strength to hold it. “How heavy is this thing, Chano?”

  “It is roughly twenty pounds by Majesta standards. We realized that at beginning stages this might seem a bit cumbersome so we decided to gift you a bag of holding,” he said as a bag with a shoulder strap appeared in his hand.

  SWEEEEEEEEEET…

  Chano reached over and took Happiness from her with one hand. Her arms drooped and she tried to shake some life back into them. “Every player will get one gift that we feel would be useful to their way of gameplay. This ‘gift’ will be soulbound if you so desire it.”

  DOUBLE SWEEEEEEEEEET!!!!

  “SHAZ YEAH…!!!” and in a flash of light the bag floated over her head and draped itself across chest to lay at her hip.

  “This one is actually even more special because of the high level in your save file. Your need to carry Happiness, all of the multitude of things we are sure that you’re going to find, and the need to carry them without becoming encumbered, has led us to believe that a weight modifier was needed. Instead of the normal 30% weight reduction this bag reduces carried items by 90%.” Mayah almost fell over.

  This is top level in any game!!! Players would kill for an item like this! I could carry 300 lbs. and have it feel like 30. Things just got interesting because “players” would literally “kill” for an item like this! The irony was not lost on her.

  As Mayah marveled at her new bag, Chano coughed lightly into his fist, catching her attention.

  “You may also hotkey any armor or weapons from within you bag, your Grace. Place your hammer into the bag and I’ll explain how it’s done.”

  She untied the bag at her hip and reached out to take Happiness from Chano. Following his instructions, she opened the bag enough to fit the head of the hammer. She then let go. The hammer slid in like it was dropped off a ledge. The weight of it disappearing from her hand to hit her hip like a large water bottle.

  It’s bigger on the inside!!!! She chuckled at the nerd-dom she had rescued from 20th century sci-fi.

  Chano continued, “Next open your interface and click the gear in the bottom left. Select inventory from the menu and select the hammer.” What she saw was a picture of the hammer, beneath it was its item legend.

  Name: Happiness

  Type: Two Handed Battle Mallet

  Grade: D

  Material: Cherry Wood

  Weight: 20 lbs.

  Damage: 3DP (Crushing / Blunt Trauma)

  Durability: 140/140

  Okay not a lot of stopping power. But better than a stick. She selected the options tab and ticked the hotkey for two-hand activate and brought it forth from the bag. It instantly appeared in her hands making her stumble under the weight.

  Well, that's interesting.

  “I see you have it under control,” Chano said, with a smirk so small no noble could have been upset if they had caught it. “Now see if you can find your Stat Sheet.”

  She deactivated Happiness and glanced around her screen. She saw two more icons on the bottom left. One looked like a
small person, the other, three overlapping figures. She assumed the stack would be friends and contacts and selected the single figure. A semi-translucent page blossomed out of the icon encompassing her view.

  Name:

  Pretty Princess Cuddle Fluff

  Title(s):

  High Empress of the Pie Mountains

  Race: Princess

  Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

  Level: 1XP: 0/100

  HP: 10Regen: 0.02 per sec.

  Strength: 5Max lift 35 lbs.

  Mana:5Mana pool 150

  Regen:0.26 per sec.

  Stamina:5

  Depletion rate at max effort:

  3.5SP per sec.

  Regen: 0.21 per min.

  Attributes

  Constitution:1

  Endurance:1

  Intelligence:1

  Agility:1

  Perception:1

  Presence:1

  Wow, total noob.

  “Your Grace, I can tell by your look that you are not pleased with what you see. Rest assured all new players have the same stats as you do. You will grow, you are the Empress after all.” He said it with an air of certainty, unshakable in its resolution. “Now for your tools.”

  “We of Pie Mountain remember your wardrobe. You were a glittering, fluttering, force of fashion. The work you did altering your clothes is legendary. So, we give you pinking shears and needles.”

  Their stats popped up

  Name: Pinking shears

  Grade: D

  Material: Steel

  Durability: 40/40

  Name: Needles x4

  Grade: D

  Material: Steel

  Durability: 10/10

  She took them from Chano wondering, what am I gonna do with these? She had sewn something, once ...and only once. Hope there's a skill for that or these tools are gonna be useless.

  “In Majesta you can become whatever you want. Do not think yourself a seamstress just because you have the tools for the job.” He seemed to be reading her mind.

  His eyes burned into hers making her uncomfortable. “This is a world of unlimited possibilities.” He seemed to imply something with his stare.

  What is it with this NPC? Isn’t he a little too Intense?

  He regained his former regal air and showed her how to rearrange her menus and screens to her liking and then how to use the map. She pulled it up and registered a small circle in the center of her dark map. There was a green marker in the center of the room. She took a step to the side and the marker moved to one side of the circle. She spun around and the map followed suit, spinning in her vision with her as the center point. Whoa… dizzy…

  “Now Empress.” Chano seemed a bit reluctant to finish his tutorial. “It is time for you to head to the village. I do so hope you make it there without dying. I will wait in this world until I'm certain that you get there.”

  You have been offered a quest:

  Survive

  Make it to the training village without dying or losing any levels

  Rank: E

  Reward: 100XP

  Failure: Dying or losing levels before reaching the training village

  Do you wish to accept?

  Y/N?

  Shaz yeah, let's get this party started!!! The prompt chimed and a new icon popped up on the bottom of her screen.

  “You will find the waypoint to the village on your map. Try the map’s seeker mode. Once you activate it, you might prefer it.” Chano bowed from the hip with a flourish of his arm and a small step of his leg. “The prayers of your people follow in your wake. May you bring these people happiness Empress, one way or the other.” He disappeared out of the door and left her alone with her thoughts.

  She took a moment to steady her thoughts, doing the breathing exercises her father had taught her. She put both hands flat on the wall and let her mind go clear while taking deep breaths. She noticed the little dials on the wall and watched how some went up and down smoothly and others jumped around agitatedly. She took a deep breath and then looked a little closer.

  DING!!!

  New Passive Ability

  Awareness Level: 1

  You notice all of the little details that most miss. Keep this up and you’ll be able to unravel any mystery.

  5% increase to perception

  What's a passive skill? ...And even more to the point, how am I supposed to trigger it? Okay, I was looking at the wall. Examining the dials… well let's do that some more. She looked around at the dials noticing the colors and how the needles jumped. As she moved around the wall she examined everything and nothing happened. Finally, about to give up, she came across three tiny holes above a large dial.

  They were small holes like the reset button on some of her dad's antique tech. She took a needle out of her bag and put it into the hole, hearing a small click as she pressed. Eyes wide, she repeated the procedure hearing the click each time. She could smell the free loot.

  Never one to walk away from a puzzle, she examined the big dial, its needle jumping around. No… it wasn’t jumping around. It flat lined then went to 300 then flat lined and went to 100 and then flat lined and went to 200.

  Is this a code?

  She studied it more intensely. There was a point, barely perceptible, where the needle jumped but didn’t touch the numbers. She started to note the numbers.

  Two minutes later she finally figured out the repeating code. 100, 100, 300, 100, 200, 200, 300, 100. She guessed that 100 was the first hole 200 the second and so on.

  Let’s try this puppy out… and…. CLICK. The dial slid out of the wall and exposed a long drawer.

  DING!!!

  Awareness Level: 2

  Well, aren’t you a regular Sherlock. Clues want to hide from you afraid that you’ll smell them out and rightly so.

  7% increase to perception.

  She swiped the notification away and moved to look in the box.

  What do we have here? It was a large, ornate golden key about a foot long. The teeth spiked out in three directions with a pink jewel in the bow of the key. It looked like a jeweled doorknob with a long spike and weather vanes. I smell a quest!!! Woot… woot…

  She stared at the key trying to get some information about it but nothing popped up. Guess I'm gonna have to figure it out.

  She figured that she had found everything in the room, but she gave it the once over to look for more of the telltale holes. Finding none, she walked out of the door into the rough-cut stone hallway. The sunlight filtered in letting her know the tunnel wasn’t too long. As she turned a sharp bend she could see Chano’s figure looming in the entrance, his slim figure silhouetted by bright sunlight.

  “Chano, what can you tell me about his key?” Chano’s eyes enlarged to the size of dinner plates and he snatched the key, stuffing it into her bag. He looked around wildly, losing all of his decorum. He lost all traces of the mild-mannered majordomo, becoming a thing of unbridled paranoia.

  “Never show that to anyone!!!!!!” He hissed.

  “Chano, what’s wrong?” She pulled back, slightly frightened by his behavior.

  He hissed through his teeth again, trying to regain his composure with some effort. “Excuse me Empress, I have overstepped the bounds of propriety.” Most of the growl had lost its edge. “It would not be unusual for you to punish me for such a breach of…”

  “SHUT… UP…” She glared at the now shamed and cowed majordomo. With the fires of a problem blossoming in her brain and her eyes. She didn’t have time or the wish to care about punishing people.

  “Am I the Empress who brings happiness?" she demanded of him.

  “Yes, your Grace,” he said face downturned.

  “And what brings me happiness?”

  “I, I do not know your Grace,” he stuttered.

  “It is very simple, helping my people.”

  “Yes, your Grace.” He nodded, eyes shadowed in fear of retribution.

  “Now, in order to be a wise and virtuous ruler I
need information.”

  “Yes, your Grace.” The man seemed to be wilting in front of her.

  “So…. tell me about this key, and look me in the eyes when you do so.”

  Chano looked warily into her eyes and took a deep breath seeing there was to be no punishment. He exhaled, straightened, and said, “That is the key to the Thermocouple in Ovensbottom.”

  What in the derp is an Ovensbottom?

  He continued, seeing the exasperation on her face “Ovensbottom is the darkest part of Pie Mountain. The part of your empire that the nobility and the sane populace don’t talk about. It is the capital of the Klurg Empire.”

  Oh snap…. shaz just got real.

  “The Thermocouple is the tightest, most secure prison ever created. It holds the Klurg's greatest enemy, Prince Athenby, Seventh Slice of Heaven, the son of King Krusty the Humorous.”

  Now I know why the king wasn't happy, and pie couldn’t possibly fix that sort of pain.

  “That key is the salvation of the Pie Kingdom. Please, Empress I beg of you, do not let anyone know that it is in your possession.” He looked near to madness. “I will inform his Majesty in private and utter not another word of this. Will you seek out the Thermocouple and free prince Athenby?”

  You have been offered a quest:

  The hope of Pie Mountain

  Save Prince Athenby from the most secure prison the Pie Kingdom has ever known.

  Rank: S

  Rewards???

  Do you accept?

  Y/N?

  “Fear not, Chano,” She saw the plea in his eyes. “I will not rest until I bring everyone happiness, one way or the other.” She placed a firm hand on his shoulder and accepted the quest.

  He finally smiled, pride glowing on his face from hearing his own words sound from the Empress. “Please make haste, your Grace, this could change everything we know.”

  …..

  Mayah, or more like Empress Fluff as she was already thinking about herself from her character’s perspective, took her first step outside of her spawn cave. Her eyes were shocked by bright sunlight streaming down over a meadow ringed with trees. From this distance, she couldn't tell the difference from the real thing.